Indecent Proposal
by Erin T. Aardvark
Summary: Cedric Sneer proposes to his girlfriend, Sophia Tutu
1. Sophia's Return

Indecent Proposal_

* * *

_

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear there are times when I think I'm the only one in the world who actually remembers the 1980's cartoon, "The Raccoons." In any case, this was just something that had been kicking around in my brain for awhile, so I figure what the heck? I'll take the plunge and go for it!_

_

* * *

_

Practically everyone in the Evergreen Forest was gathered at the train station. Especially the media. Every newspaper that even bordered the Evergreen Forest was there. Ralph and Melissa Raccoon were having a hard time squeezing through the other members of the media to get into the front.

"Boy, this place is packed!" Ralph said. "I didn't expect this big a turnout!"

"Especially since the Evergreen Standard is the only newspaper here in the Evergreen Forest," Melissa said. "But ever since Sophia went on to the Olympics and won a gold medal in figure skating, you've got to expect a lot of other neighboring newspapers to cover the story."

"Good point, Melissa."

Sophia Tutu was a friend of Ralph and Melissa. She had left the Evergreen Forest to pursue a career as an Olympic figure skater. She had even won a gold medal, and was now returning home to see her friends.

The train pulled into the station, and Sophia walked out of the car she was in. Immediately, photographers began snapping pictures right and left, and reporters came rushing up, nearly trampling Ralph and Melissa. Well, actually, Ralph _did_ end up getting trampled. Sophia saw them immediately and ran to them.

"Are you all right, Ralph?" she asked.

"That depends," Ralph groaned. "If you can consider being flattened like a pancake all right."

Melissa and Sophia helped Ralph to his feet, and they walked over to a nearby bench. Even though he was trampled by the news media, Ralph was glad to see Sophia, as was Melissa. It looked like it was going to be a good reunion among the friends.

Of course, some people were more happy about it than others.

Cyril Sneer, the Evergreen Forest's biggest (and greediest) tycoon, was sitting outside the train station while his son, Cedric (who was Sophia's boyfriend) was working up the nerve to actually go up to the train and see Sophia. Cyril was getting pretty impatient with Cedric at this point.

"Will you just go in there and say hello so we can leave?!" he shouted. "I don't know _why_ you had to come and see that Sofa Girl, anyway."

"I haven't seen her in months, Pop," Cedric said.

"Well, then keep it that way!"

Cedric sighed. He didn't have the slightest idea why his father disliked Sophia. He couldn't really figure it out. Then again, Cyril didn't like _any_body, so why was Cedric so surprised he didn't like his girlfriend?

In any case, Sophia caught sight of Cedric, and immediately ran over to him.

"Cedric!" she shouted, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Oh Cedric, I missed you so much!"

"I missed you, too, Sophia," Cedric said.

Cyril chewed on the end of his cigar, and snorted in disgust. Cedric and Sophia paid him no attention.

"Congratulations on your gold medal," Cedric said. "That must have been some experience, skating in the Olympics."

"It was," Sophia said. "But it's good to be back home."

Cedric nodded, and he and Sophia walked off. Ralph and Melissa ran to catch up with them, leaving Cyril somewhat in the dust. Cyril groaned, shook his head, and chewed on his cigar.

"All this mushy stuff is starting to give me a stomach ache," he grumbled, as he walked off into the forest.

As Cyril was going back to his mansion, Cedric, Sophia, Ralph, and Melissa went to the Raccoondominium. Sophia wanted to see her other friends, Bert Raccoon, Schafer the dog, and Broo the puppy. The minute she walked into the Raccoondominium, she saw a large banner hanging in the middle of the room. It said,

WELCOME BACK, SOPHIA!

"Surprise!" Bert shouted, running out into the open. He blew a noisemaker directly into Ralph's ear.

"Thanks, Bert," Ralph said. "I didn't need that."

"Sorry," Bert said, sheepishly.

Broo barked and jumped all over Sophia, trying to get up to her and lick her face. Schafer picked up the little puppy and held him back.

"Hi, Sophia," he said. "Congratulations on winning the gold medal."

"Thanks," Sophia said. "The Olympics were fun, but I'm glad to be home."

"We've had this party planned for weeks!" Bert shouted. "We just knew you'd come back to the Evergreen Forest to show off your medal! And of course, give an exclusive interview to the Evergreen Standard!"

Sophia laughed over that one. She sat down to relax a little. Broo jumped onto her lap and wagged his tail. He yawned, stretched, and settled down for a little nap.

"I think Broo has the same idea I do," Sophia said.

The others agreed, and scattered. Ralph and Melissa knew Sophia would give them an exclusive interview for the Evergreen Standard, but they didn't want to press her right now.

The next day, Bert was searching around the kitchen of the Raccoondominium, looking for something.

"Now let's see . . . . ." he muttered to himself. "Where's Melissa hiding the peanut butter this week?"

Bert then grabbed a step stool, dragged it over to the corner of the kitchen, and climbed up on it. He opened the cabinet and found the peanut butter. Melissa had to hide it since Bert was addicted to the stuff, and usually ate the whole jar in one sitting, and rarely left any for anyone else. He was about to take it down from the shelf when Cedric walked in.

"Hey Bert!" he called.

"YIPE!" Bert shouted, startled. He was so startled, he fell off the step stool and threw the peanut butter jar into the air. It landed on his head, and peanut butter spilled all over him.

"Sorry about that, Bert," Cedric said.

"No problem, Cedric," Bert said, licking the peanut butter off his face. "It tastes better this way."

"Is Sophia around?"

"Nah, she and Melissa went out. Why?"

"Well, I want to tell you something. But I don't want Sophia to know about it until later. And you have to promise not to tell her, either."

"So what's the big secret?"

"Well . . . . . see, Sophia and I have known each other and went out and stuff like that for a long time, and we really like each other and all that . . . . ."

"What are you getting at Cedric?"

"Well, do you think that Sophia would . . . . . . I mean, we've known each other for a long time, so I think . . . . . . well . . . . . ummmm . . . . ."

Cedric gulped held up a small, black box he had been holding. He opened it to reveal a diamond ring.

"Nice rock, Cedric," Bert said. "You get that out of a Crackerjacks box?"

"No, I got it at a jewelry store," Cedric said. "I, uh, I'm going to give it to Sophia. I, uhh, I sort of . . . . . want to get married."

Bert just stood there, staring at Cedric, and the ring he had.

"Well don't just stand there!" Cedric shouted. "Say something!"

"What's your dad gonna say?" Bert asked finally.

"I haven't told Pop yet. I don't know how he's going to take it."

"Well, I don't plan into be in the near vicinity when you do tell him, because if I know Cyril Sneer, he won't take it well!"

"Yeah, I know, but it's time I did things on my own. It's time I started standing up to Pop."

Bert nodded, and pulled the peanut butter jar off his head, and began cleaning it off.

"Good luck, Cedric," he said.

Cedric nodded, and left. Bert licked a handful of peanut butter off his hand.

"You'll need it!" he said to himself.


	2. The Proposal

The next night, Sophia was over at the Sneer's mansion for dinner. Cedric was incredibly nervous about what he was about to do. There were two factors in his nervousness. One was he didn't know what in the world Sophia was going to say to him when he proposed. The other was what Cyril was going to say about it.

Cedric decided to tell his father about it later, and not to worry so much about it.

"You seem nervous about something, Cedric," Sophia asked.

"N-nervous?" Cedric repeated. "What makes you think I'm nervous about something?"

"Well, you're eating your soup with a fork for one thing."

Cedric looked down and realized that Sophia was right. He blushed, cleared his throat, dropped the fork, and picked up a spoon.

"Actually," he said finally. "There is something I wanted to ask you."

"What's that?" Sophia said.

"Well, ummm . . . . ."

Cedric pulled out a small black box, and fiddled with it for awhile. His hands were shaking as he held it up, trying to open it. As his hands shook, he accidentally dropped the box right into Sophia's soup bowl. Soup splattered all over the place.

"Oops!" Cedric shouted. "Sorry about that, Sophia."

Sophia didn't say anything. She picked the black box out of her soup, and cleaned it off the best she could. Then, her curiosity got the better of her, and she opened the box. Her eyes nearly flew out of their sockets when she saw the ring inside.

"Is this what I think it is?" she asked.

"Well, I guess so," Cedric said. "If . . . . .if you think it's an engagement ring."

Sophia sat there in a shocked silence. Of course, it only made Cedric more and more nervous. It was driving him crazy.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" Sophia asked finally.

(Obviously, she's not the brightest crayon in the box, is she?)

"Well . . . ." Cedric said. Then he gulped. "Yes."

Sophia nodded, and looked at the ring thoughtfully. Then she let out an extremely loud, high pitched squeal, and ran straight into Cedric, tackling him to the ground. Then she grabbed him by the back of the neck and began kissing him.

"Should I take that as a yes?" Cedric asked, slightly dazed.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, _YES_!" Sophia shrieked.

"What's all the noise in here about?!" Cyril shouted, bursting into the room. "Can't I get a little work done around here?!"

"Sorry, Pop," Cedric said.

"What in the world are you two _doing_, anyway?!" Cyril shouted. "Looks like a mambo lesson gone wrong."

Cedric and Sophia looked at each other. It was obvious to Sophia that Cedric hadn't told Cyril his plans for the evening, except that Sophia was coming over for dinner.

"Should we tell him?" Cedric asked.

"Tell me what?" Cyril asked.

"Why don't you tell him?" Sophia asked. "After all, he _is_ your father."

"Yeah, but I don't know how he's gonna take it."

"But I still think maybe we should tell him."

"Tell me _what_?!" Cyril demanded, getting pretty impatient.

Cedric and Sophia just looked at each other, and then nodded. Then they both took a deep breath, exhaled, and gave Cyril the news.

"We're getting married," they said in perfect unison.

Upon hearing _that_, Cyril nearly swallowed his cigar. He just stared at his son for a few moments, and then burst out laughing.

"I must need my hearing checked," he said. "For a minute, I thought you said you were getting married!"

"We did say it, Pop," Cedric said.

"Tell me you're kidding," Cyril said. "I demand you to tell me that you're kidding!"

"We're not kidding, Pop. We're getting married."

Another stunned silence. This made Cedric a little nervous, but in a different way. Sophia was a bit nervous as well. She had seen Cyril Sneer lose his temper before, and had hoped to stay out of his line of fire at all costs, but it looked like this was one time she couldn't avoid it.

"Cedric, I'm only going to say this once, so you'd better listen," Cyril said, at last.

"I'm listening," Cedric replied. Cyril took a deep breath.

"YOU UNGRATEFUL WRETCH!" he screamed at the top of his voice. "I WORK AND I SLAVE ALL THOSE YEARS TO MAKE MONEY TO SEND YOU TO COLLEGE TO LEARN BUSINESS AND TAKE OVER THE INDUSTRY FOR ME AND IS THIS THE THANKS I GET?!"

"Pop, I don't think I understand what you're getting at," Cedric said. "I knew you wouldn't like the idea of me and Sophia getting married, but . . . ."

"I forbid this wedding to even take place!" Cyril shouted. "I absolutely forbid it!"

"But Mr. Sneer," Sophia said. "If you'll just listen . . . . ."

"And as for you!" Cyril shouted, turning to face Sophia. "Don't think I don't know what you're up to, Sofa Girl!"

"What?" Sophia asked, highly confused.

"You getting all chummy with my son, just so you can have a taste of the big bucks! Well, it won't work! I know you want into this marriage thing so half the fortune that Cedric will inherit will be yours, and then if the two of you should get a divorce, then half my money will be yours!"

"Mr. Sneer, that is ridiculous! It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

"You waltz back into the Evergreen Forest after you've won a gold medal for figure skating to make you look good to me! You were hoping that gold medal would make you look like a girl worthy enough to marry my son, instead of looking like a conniving, scheming, witch that you are!"

"But Pop!" Cedric shouted, appalled at his father's choice of words.

"Don't 'but Pop' _me_, Cedric!" Cyril yelled. "As long as you live under my roof, what I say goes! And I say Sofa Girl has got to go! NOW!"

And with that, Cyril stormed out of the room. He slammed the door as hard as he could, which caused the pictures on the wall to rattle and shake a bit.

"Maybe I'd better go now, Cedric," Sophia said. "Your father seemed pretty angry."

"I think that's the angriest I've ever seen him," Cedric said. "I'll see you later, Sophia."

Sophia nodded and left. She wanted to get away from Cyril's mansion as fast as she could.

Cyril, in the meantime, was stomping around his office, grumbling, and throwing things around.

"Married!" he growled, knocking his phone off his desk. "Married! Of all the dumbest . . . . he can't get married! Especially not to that Sofa Girl! It'll ruin the family name if he gets married to a common girl instead of a wealthy one! The whole thing just makes me sick!"

Cyril continued to throw things off his desk. And it didn't look like he was about to stop. He was ready to explode!

Cyril was still storming around when there was a knock on the door.

"WHAT?!" he screamed.

"It's me, Pop," Cedric said, opening the door slightly. "Uhh, can I come in? I need to talk to you."

"Good, I need to talk to you, too," Cyril said. "It's about this whole marriage thing."

"Before you say anything, Pop, I just want you to know that I am planning on marrying Sophia whether or not I have your approval. It's my life now, and . . . . . ."

"Cedric, I can not allow a wedding to take place! I don't care what you just said, it is not happening! No way, no chance!"

"Pop, why don't you want me to get married? I know you don't like Sophia, and she isn't all that crazy about you, either. But that's no excuse not to forbid me to get married if I want to."

"It's not that I don't like Sofa Girl, Cedric. And you're right, I don't like her. She's beneath our social standing. But that's not the point, Cedric! I just don't want you to go through what I . . . . ."

Cyril stopped short suddenly. He was about to blurt out something he had kept a secret for many, many years. A secret he didn't want anyone to find out, including his own son.

"You don't want me to go through what, Pop?" Cedric asked.

"Never mind!" Cyril shouted. "Never mind what I said! I'm through talking about it! The discussion is closed! Now get out of here so I can get some work done!"

Cedric practically sprinted out of the room. Cyril waited until he closed the door. Then he sat down at his desk and sighed.

"Almost slipped there," he said. "There is no way anyone is going to find out. Not in a million years!"


	3. Cyril's Secret

Back at the Raccoondominium, Sophia was explaining to Melissa, Ralph, and Bert about the disaster that happened only moments before.

"I was wondering what ol' Hose Nose was screaming about," Bert said. "You could hear him all across the Evergreen Forest!"

"I wouldn't worry too much about it, Sophia," Ralph said. "Nothing can stand in the way of true love."

Melissa giggled. She loved it when Ralph got poetic like that.

"I agree," she said.

"So do I," Bert said. "Even if this conversation is starting to get a little mushy. Girls. They've always got to make a big, mushy production outta everything."

Both Sophia and Melissa took a couple of pillows from the couch and began swatting Bert with them as hard as they could.

"Ow!" Bert shouted as the girls kept smacking him around. "Hey! Quit it! Okay, okay! I take it back, I take it back! I surrender!"

"Never say anything like that about girls, Bert," Ralph warned. "And with that as an afterthought, don't get married, either."

"WHAT!" Melissa shouted. She picked up the pillow and began swatting Ralph with it.

"Hey, hey!" Ralph shouted. "I was just kidding, Melissa!"

Bert and Sophia burst out laughing at the sight of Melissa clobbering Ralph with the pillow, as all of Sophia's worries about Cyril and her engagement to Cedric melted away. She had a lot to do before the actual wedding, but with help from her friends, it was sure to go off without a hitch.

Or so she thought. What Sophia didn't know (and Cedric wasn't aware of it, either) was that Cyril was in the middle of plotting some matrimonial sabotage. He wanted to do everything he could to keep Cedric and Sophia from getting married. As he was doing his plotting, he called in his most faithful (and probably least competent) employees, Lloyd, Floyd, and Boyd Pig.

"I need you three to do something for me," he said.

"Yes sir!" the Pigs answered in unison.

"Do everything in your power to stop this wedding! Cedric insists on going through with it, and I don't want it to happen!"

"Yes sir!"

"Uhh, one question, sir," Lloyd said. "How do we stop the wedding?"

"I don't care! Sabotage things, don't let it get past the planning stage! Do whatever it takes to keep it from happening, you numbskulls!"

"Yes sir! Yes sir!" the pigs shouted in unison, and then ran out of the Sneer mansion as fast as their legs could carry them.

The first order of business was to figure out what exactly Cedric and Sophia were doing to prepare for the wedding. The pigs found them sitting by the lake, making notes of what needed to be done.

"So how big of a wedding is this going to be?" Cedric asked.

"A small one," Sophia replied. "We don't need to pull out all the extremes. Just family and friends."

"Maybe just friends. I'm not sure if Pop's going to show up or not. But if I know Pop, and judging by his reaction about this, I'd say he's not going to come."

Sophia nodded. Cedric had a very good point there. The two of them continued to make notes about the wedding. Even though they were going to keep the guest list small, they were going to go formal. Cedric had decided that he wanted Bert to be his best man, and Sophia was planning on asking Melissa to be her matron of honor. Both agreed to Broo being the ring bearer.

"I think that takes care of the wedding party for now," Sophia said. "We can talk about some of the other things that need to be done later."

"Right," Cedric said. "See you tomorrow, Sophia!"

And with that, Cedric and Sophia departed. The pigs decided to tail Sophia, since usually it's the girl who does more work than the guy does during a wedding. The Pigs went all the way to the Raccoondominum and ducked into the bushes. Then, they carefully climbed out and looked through the window. Two of the pigs had binoculars, and the other was holding a glass to his ear to hear what was going on inside.

"I've got a lot of magazines stored in the attic," Melissa said. "I got plenty of ideas out of there when Ralph and I got married."

"Great," Sophia said. "I think I could use all the help I can get. I'd like a formal wedding, but is it possible to do that on a limited budget?"

"Let me guess. Mr. Sneer isn't going to pay for this wedding?"

"Are you kidding? He practically blew a gasket when Cedric and I told him we were getting married, remember?"

"Yeah, what did I expect, right?"

Sophia nodded, and followed Melissa up a flight of stairs to get to the attic.

"Now what do we do?" Floyd asked.

"We go up to the attic and continue to snoop," Lloyd replied. "Come on!"

"How do we get up there without them seeing us?" Boyd asked.

"Hmm . . . . ."

The Pigs staid right where they were and thought it over. Finally, they came up with the idea of standing on each other's shoulders, and then maybe they could see inside the attic window. Lloyd was on the bottom, Floyd climbed onto his shoulders, and Boyd climbed onto Floyd's shoulders.

"I still can't see!" he shouted.

"We need to get up higher," Floyd said.

"We need something to stand on, but what?" Lloyd asked.

The pigs began thinking it over again. But before they could even hatch a plan, they heard some squeaky barking going on right behind them. The three pigs turned around, and saw Broo standing there, paws planted firmly in the ground, growling, and barking his head off at the pigs.

"Uh oh . . . ." Lloyd said.

"RETREAT!" all three pigs shouted in unison and they ran off as fast as they could.

Broo chased after them, barking like crazy. He didn't like trespassers. The pigs ran up a nearby tree, trying to get away from Broo. Broo stood at the foot of the tree, barking. All the commotion bought Schafer and Bert running over to him.

"Settle down, Broo," Schafer said. "There's nothing to get excited about."

"Yeah, he probably just chased a squirrel up there or something," Bert replied.

"Come on, Broo. Time to head back home."

Broo looked up the tree, and gave one final bark at the pigs, and then followed Schafer to their home. The pigs breathed of relief and climbed down from the tree.

"Now what do we do?" Floyd asked.

"I have an idea," Lloyd said. "Huddle!"

The three pigs huddled, as Lloyd whispered his plan. Then the three of them started laughing and squealing at the ideas they were hatching.

The next morning, Sophia and Melissa went shopping in their community. They had practically a million things to do. The first thing they did was stop in a bridal shop to look at wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses. The pigs followed them, but were careful enough not to get caught this time. However, Sophia kept getting the feeling that she and Melissa were being followed.

"I think you're just nervous," Melissa said. "I remember I was a little nervous when Ralph and I got married."

"I guess you're right, Melissa," Sophia said. "That's probably what it is."

The girls walked into the shop. The pigs ran to the window and began watching everything.

"So what are we gonna do?" Floyd asked.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" Lloyd shouted.

As Lloyd continued to think about what to do, Floyd andBoyd continued to watch through the window of the store.

At the time, Sophia and Melissa were going through a rack of discounted dresses. This was the only option for Sophia, considering the fact that she and Cedric were on a slight budget for the wedding.

"I can't believe you're reduced to looking for a discounted dress," Melissa said. "I always knew Cyril Sneer was a money hungry monster, but I never thought he was a cheapskate."

"I'm not at all surprised," Sophia said, as she pulled one of the wedding gowns off the rack to get a better look at it. "He's not happy at all with this whole wedding."

"I know, but still, Cedric's his son, so I think he should be a little supportive."

Sophia shrugged, and walked over to a full length mirror nearby. She held up the dress, and stared at it thoughtfully.

"I think this one would be nice," she said.

Melissa nodded in agreement. Then, she walked over to another part of the store to look for something for herself while Sophia went to try on the dress. A few minutes later, she came out of the fitting room, and twirled a little in the dress.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked.

"I think that it's perfect," Melissa said. "There aren't even all that many alterations we'll need to make on it."

Upon hearing that from outside (remember, the Pigs still had to use the glass against the wall method to hear what was going on), the Pigs got an idea. They raced to a costume shop right away.

Melissa and Sophia were leaving the bridal shop when they ran into three pigs, literally. Two of them were wearing business suits and berets, and the third was wearing a purple suit, a cape, monocle, and a purple hat with a feather stuck in it.

"Allo, bonjour, and allo, mademoiselles!" the garishly dressed pig said, in a French accent.

"Who are you?" Melissa asked.

"I am Monsieur Pierre LePourck!" the pig shouted (and he also pronounced "monsieur" like it's spelled). "Zee famous fashion designair!"

"Famous?" Sophia asked. "I've never heard of you."

"I design exclusively in Paree," the pig said. "I was hired by . . . . . oh what was hees name? Oh yes! A Cyril Sneer. Yes, zat ees hees name. He wanted me to design zee wedding gown to be worn by hees son's bride-to-be at zee wedding."

"Cyril Sneer?" Melissa asked. "I find that hard to swallow."

"Ah, but eet ees true!" the pig shouted. "Monsieur Sneer has had a, how you say, change of heart about zee wedding. Eesn't zat right, boys?"

"Yes sir, yes sir!" the other two pigs shouted in unison.

"Well, it's a very generous offer," Sophia said. "But I already found a wedding gown that's perfect."

"Hmm," the pig in the purple suit said. "Let me take a look at eet."

The other two pigs grabbed the box out of Sophia's hands, and flung the lid off it. Then they took the dress out of the box, and looked at it. "Pierre" walked around it, adjusting his monocle, stroking his chin thoughtfully as he looked at the dress. It was sleeveless, with a long skirt, and white of course. He continued looking it over, and finally shook his head in disgust.

"No, no, no!" he shouted. "Eet ees all wrong! You can not get married to anyone in zee Sneer family wiz a dress like zat! Eet simply weel not do! Mademoiselle, eet ees a good zing we found you. We will take zee dress, and we weel mold eet and transform eet into a Pierre LePourck oreegeenal! You weel not be sorry!"

"Exactly how much is this going to cost us?" Melissa asked.

"Ah, you do not have to worry about zee costs!" Pierre shouted. "All charges are to be covered my Monsieur Sneer."

"I don't believe that," Melissa said.

"Ah but eet ees true!" Pierre shouted. "Eesn't it, boys?"

"Yes, sir! Yes, sir!" the other two pigs shouted.

"Well, all right," Sophia said. "But will it be ready in time for the wedding?"

"Of course eet weel!" Pierre shouted. "I give you the Pierre LePourck guarantee! As we say in Paree, au revoir, and arevederci!"

And with that, Pierre and his two men stuffed the dress into the box, and ran off with it. Melissa watched them go suspiciously.

"I don't know if they can be trusted, Sophia," she said. "They're story seems kind of fishy to me."

"Oh Melissa, maybe Mr. Sneer really did have a change of heart about the wedding," Sophia said. "We can at least give him the benefit of a doubt."

"Still, I think I'll pay a visit to Cyril Sneer and see what's going on."

Back at the Sneer mansion, the Pigs had returned to Cyril, complete with Sophia's wedding dress, giving him a report of what they did.

"And we told her that you paid to hire a famous French designer to design the dress!" Lloyd shouted.

"And she bought it!"Boyd said with a laugh.

"Well, good to see you didn't screw it up this time," Cyril said. "I'd just like to see her get married without a wedding dress!"

Cyril began laughing over his whole scheme when the doorbell rang. He grumbled, and went to answer it, only to find Melissa Raccoon standing on his doorstep.

"Well, what do _you_ want!" he shouted.

"I want to know about this Pierre LePourck," Melissa said.

"What about him?"

"He said that you hired him to design Sophia's wedding dress. Knowing you, Cyril Sneer, I find that very hard to believe."

"Of course I hired him! No son of mine is getting married to a girl wearing an ordinary wedding dress!"

"So . . . . you really did have a change of heart about the wedding?"

"Yes, now I have a lot of work to do, so if you don't mind . . . . . GET OFF MY PROPERTY!"

And with that, Cyril slammed the door in Melissa's face. Melissa went right back to the Raccoondominium.

In the meantime, Cedric and Bert were downtown, getting fitted for tuxedos for the wedding.

"You know, I think Pop's hiding something," Cedric said.

"If you ask me, he's hiding a lot of somethings," Bert replied. "And I think there's only one way to find out what."

"What's that?"

"We go do a little detective work. That attic of yours must have a lot of secrets!"

"I don't know, Bert. Pop's forbidden me to go into the attic."

"Why do you think that is, Cedric? Come on! We've gotta find out what he's hiding!"

"Well . . . . . okay, I guess."

Late that night, Bert and Cedric climbed up to the attic of the Sneer mansion. It was dark and dusty up there, completely covered in cobwebs. It was like no one had been up there in years.

"Boy, your dad sure doesn't keep this place clean," Bert said.

"I don't think he's been up here in awhile," Cedric replied. He came across a photo album and began looking through it.

Bert, in the meantime, walked over to a large steamer trunk, and pried it open. When he looked at the contents, he was shocked. Inside the trunk was a bunch of clothes, but that's not what shocked Bert. The clothes were all women's clothes.

"Hey Cedric," he said. "I think your dad's leading a double life."

"Maybe not," Cedric said. "Take a look at some of these photos."

Bert walked over to get a good look at the photos. Most of them were of Cyril when he was younger, and Cedric when he was a baby. But a lot of them had a girl aardvark in the pictures.

"Who's she?" Bert asked.

"I don't know," Cedric said. He pulled out one of the pictures and looked on the back of it. There was something written there.

"Sylvia and Cedric," Cedric read. "I wonder who Sylvia is?"

"Good question," Bert said. "But that's probably her stuff in the trunk there."

"WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE!" a voice bellowed from the doorway.

Bert and Cedric turned around and saw Cyril standing right behind them.

"Pop!" Cedric shouted. "What are you doing up here?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing, Cedric!" Cyril shouted. "I thought I told you never to come up here!"

"Never mind that!" Bert shouted. "You've got something to explain, yourself you know!"

"Like what?" Cyril asked.

"Like who's Sylvia!"

Cyril sort of choked, and caught sight of the photo album that Cedric was holding. He grabbed it away, and started down the stairs.

"She's nobody!" he shouted. "Just . . . . . somebody I used to know. That's all."

"If she's nobody, Pop, then why are all these pictures up here?" Cedric asked.

"Well . . . ." Cyril said, trying to think of a good excuse.

"And that trunk there," Bert said. "If she's nobody, then why is that up here?"

"Let me give you a word of advice," Cyril said to Bert. "Keep your nose out of other people's business!"

Cyril turned, and started to go down the stairs when a photo fluttered out of the album, and landed on the floor. Bert picked it up, looked at it, and smirked.

"If she's nobody," he said. "Then why did you get married to her?"

Cyril stopped short. He turned around, glared at Bert, and reached for the photo.

"Give me that photo!" he yelled.

"Not a chance!" Bert shouted, jumping on top of a pile of boxes, out of Cyril's reach. "Not until you tell us who Sylvia is!"

"Why you . . . . . give me that picture or I'll make a fur coat out of you!"

Bert laughed and jumped off the boxes, trying to keep the photo away from Cyril. Cyril was about ready to explode. He growled, and began chasing Bert around the attic. The two of them began knocking into things in the attic, making not only a huge mess, but a huge noise as well. Cedric managed to get in between them and break things up.

"You two are gonna wake up the whole forest!" he shouted.

"Aw come on, Cedric!" Bert shouted. "You want to know who Sylvia is, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Cedric said.

"All right, fine!" Cyril shouted, giving up. "I'll tell you! Cedric, Sylvia . . . . . well, Sylvia is . . . . . your mother."


	4. Secret Revealed

Cedric stood there in shock. He looked at the pictures of him and this Sylvia. Then he looked at Cyril.

"This is my mother?" he asked. "Pop, how come you never told me about her?"

"It's a long and complicated story," Cyril said.

"So where is she now?"

"My guess is she dumped you for someone with a better personality," Bert commented.

"You stay out of this!" Cyril shouted. "And in any case, Cedric, to answer your question . . . . . your mother . . . . . she's . . . . . she sort of . . . . . . well, she's been spending time over on Elk Street."

"Elk Street?" Cedric asked.

"Isn't that where the cemetery is?" Bert asked.

"You know, you're smarter than you look, Raccoon," Cyril said, glaring at Bert.

Both Bert and Cedric looked at each other. They really couldn't believe what they were hearing.

"What happened to her, Pop?" Cedric asked.

"Well, it was about a month or so after you were born, Cedric," Cyril explained. "Syliva . . . . . well, she . . . . . she . . . . ."

"Got fed up with you and your money grubbing path of destruction and up and left?" Bert interrupted.

"Will you keep out of this, you fur brain!" Cyril shouted. "Good grief."

"Go on, Pop," Cedric urged. "What happened?"

"I might as well just say it," Cyril said. "Your mother became sick a month or so after you were born, Cedric, and she had to undergo an operation, and . . . . . it wasn't successful. She didn't pull through."

"Ouch," Bert muttered under his breath. He started to feel bad about saying all the things he did about Sylvia up and leaving Cyril.

"How come you never told me this before, Pop?" Cedric asked.

"There were a lot of factors to that, Cedric," Cyril said. "One was that you never asked about her. Another was that I never brought it up."

"How come you never brought it up?" Bert asked.

"Well, if you must know," Cyril asked, a bit irritated that Bert was prying into his personal life. "It was too painful."

"Somehow, I can't picture you in pain," Bert said.

"Why you . . . ." Cyril started. He wanted to reach out to strangle the raccoon, but Cedric stopped him.

"Tell me more about Mom," he said, before things could get messy.

"Well, Sylvia was the only person who could ever keep me in check," Cyril said. "I had big ideas back then, but she told me ahead of time they'd never work out, and then she'd find a way to talk me out of executing a plan, and then she'd find an alternative to it, and I'd put that plan into action."

"Meaning if she were still around when you tried to build that sports arena over the lake, she would have talked you out of it?" Bert asked. "So we wouldn't have to go through that whole massacre of a hockey game?"

"Yes," Cyril admitted, glaring at Bert once more.

"And would she have talked you out of cutting down all those trees, trying to destroy the Evergreen Forest?" Bert asked.

"I tried to talk you out of that, Pop," Cedric said.

"I know, I know!" Cyril shouted. "Good grief, can't I make a mistake here and there! I don't really care to bring up Sylvia, and I don't like to think about her, either."

"Why not?" Cedric asked.

"Like I said before," Cyril said. "It's too painful. I've kept myself busy trying to forget about her, and it was pretty successful. I've managed not to think about her for awhile."

"Too long, I'd say," Bert mumbled. Cyril heard him, and stifled the urge to yank his tail out by the roots.

"I just don't want you to go through the pain I went through, Cedric," Cyril admitted.

"Is that the reason why you don't want me to marry Sophia, Pop?" Cedric asked.

"That's one of the reasons," Cyril said, standing up. "Another one is that she's not worthy of the name Sneer!"

And with that, Cyril trudged down the stairs, and slammed the attic door shut. Cedric and Bert sighed.

"Well, at least we cleared up what he was hiding," Bert said. "But as far as the relationship with your dad and Sophia goes, I don't think he's ever gonna like her."

"I think you're right about that, Bert," Cedric said, and he and Bert got to work cleaning up the attic.

The next morning, Cedric showed Sophia and the others the photo album and explained what happened the night before.

"He was trying to keep my mom a secret from me," he said.

"I think he's dealing with this all the wrong way," Sophia commented.

"I agree," Melissa said. "But it clears up some of the reasons why he's so upset about this wedding."

"Well, we can't worry about it now," Ralph said. "We've got to plan this wedding. Look what I just found in the attic. Our old record collection."

Ralph set a giant box on the floor, and the group began to go through it. Melissa picked up an album and sighed.

"Rita Coolidge," she said. "Now there's a human who could sing. She has such a nice voice."

"No doubt about that," Ralph replied with a nod.

The others continued to sort through the records, trying to decide on the best songs to play at the wedding. Bert was going to take the records, and record choice songs to a tape, made especially for Cedric and Sophia.

While they were doing that, Cyril went down the stairs and into the basement. The Pigs were waiting for him. They had Sophia's wedding dress all ready for "designing."

"All right, 'Pierre LePourck'," he said to the Pigs. "Let's design this dress."

The Pigs began taking out various objects: water pistols filled with paint, a couple of bottles of red wine, a bucket of mud, coffee, iodine, axel grease, ketchup, and mustard. Then they went wild with them, throwing the mud onto the dress, squirting it with paint, ketchup, and mustard, pouring red wine and coffee over it, dripping iodine onto it, and smearing it with axel grease.

"It's a disaster!" Lloyd shouted.

"It's ruined!" Floyd proclaimed.

"It's a mess," Boyd said.

"It's perfect!" the Pigs shouted in unison.

"It's not quite perfect yet," Cyril said, sneakily. He held up a pair of scissors, and walked towards the dress.

The Pigs took a few steps back. Cyril had this crazed look in his eyes. Then he attacked the dress, slicing and dicing with the scissors as fast as he could possibly go. By the time he was finished, the dress was in shambles.

"Now then," he said. "Let's see Sofa Girl walk down the aisle in this!"

Cyril began cackling then, and the Pigs joined in. It looked like his attempt to ruin the wedding was successful.

In the coming weeks, it looked like the gang looked like they were ready to get the show on the road. Since Cedric and Sophia were keeping things small, they decided to have the ceremony in a small chapel, and then the reception would be held outside the Raccoondominium. Ralph and Melissa had done a lot in organizing things for the wedding. Finally, things looked like they were ready.

"Saturday's the big day," Melissa said. "I think we're all ready for it. That is if that Pierre LePourck delivers your dress on time."

"I'm sure he will," Sophia replied.

"I'm not sure, Sophia. There's something really fishy about this whole thing."

"Relax, Melissa. I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Tomorrow, everything will be perfect."

Melissa still wasn't so sure. She didn't trust this Pierre LePourck fella, especially if Cyril Sneer hired him.

Morning rolled around. The Raccoondominum was practically in an uproar. It was T-minus two hours before the ceremony, and everyone had to get ready for it.

"Have you seen my camera, Melissa?" Ralph asked.

"It's on the dining room table," Melissa replied. "You left it there so you'd remember it!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Ralph said. "Thanks!"

"Hey Melissa!" Bert called. "Where's my tie!"

"Around your neck, Bert!" Melissa shouted.

"Oh yeah," Bert said. "Thanks."

"I don't understand how anyone can keep things organized under these conditions," Schafer replied, as he was tying a little bow tie around Broo's neck.

"Well, somebody has to," Melissa said.

"Did Pierre LePourck come by with my dress?" Sophia asked.

"Not yet," Melissa said. "He'd better get here soon. The wedding's going to start in two hours!"

"Don't worry, Melissa, we've still got time," Ralph said.

Melissa just couldn't help worrying. She kept getting the feeling something was going to go wrong.

And were her feelings ever right!

At that moment, Cyril and Boyd were heading over to the Raccoondominium.

"Heh, heh," Cyril snickered. "I can't wait to see the look on Sofa Girl's face when she sees this dress. A true Pierre LePourck oreegeenal! I'll bet she cries her eyes out."

"Yes sir!" Boyd shouted.

Cyril began laughing over this again, and he and the Pig walked to the Raccoondominium. Immediately, Cyril went to hide in the bushes so he could sneak around. He wasn't going to miss this for anything.

The Pig walked up to the door, and knocked on it. Melissa answered it.

"Package for Miss Sophia Tutu," Boyd said. "It's from the famous fashion designer, Pierre LePourck."

"Thanks," Melissa said. "Sophia! Come on down here!"

Sophia ran down the stairs, and saw the box Melissa was holding.

"Oh good," she said. "My dress is here."

"He cut it kind of close, didn't he?" Ralph asked.

"He sure did," Melissa replied.

Sophia didn't say anything. She just took the lid off the box and pulled her dress out of it. To everyone's complete horror, it was ruined!

"What in the world kind of a wedding dress is _that_!" Bert shouted.

"What kind of designer is Pierre LePourck anyway?" Ralph asked.

"Kind of looks like abstract art to me," Schafer said. Broo sniffed at the dress, and then backed away from it quickly.

"It's a regular Pig-casso," Melissa said, disgustedly. "I had a bad feeling this would happen. I knew there was something fishy about this Pierre LePourck guy."

"There's no way we can fix it," Ralph said.

"Does that mean we have to cancel the wedding?" Bert asked.

"Oh no!" Sophia shouted.

"We won't have to cancel anything," Melissa said. "We'll come up with something right now. Come on, Sophia."

Melissa and Sophia went upstairs. The boys staid downstairs wondering what they were going to do. Cyril was still watching through the window, waiting to see what would happen. Moments later, the girls came back downstairs. Sophia was wearing something that looked more like a toga than a wedding gown.

"What's that?" Schafer asked.

"A bed sheet out of the linen closet," Melissa said, shrugging. "We didn't have much to work with."

"What do you guys think?" Sophia asked.

"It's . . . ." Ralph said, a little hesitantly.

"It looks like you're going to a college fraternity party than to a wedding," Bert said.

"Bert!" Melissa shouted.

"He's right!" Sophia shouted. "This is terrible! Just terrible!"

"Don't panic, Sophia," Schafer said. "We can still figure out something."

"He's right," Bert said. "The whole getting married in the white dress is so overrated these days."

"Bert, you're not helping," Ralph said.

"Maybe the bridal salon will have another dress like this one," Melissa said.

"There isn't any time for that," Sophia said. "Maybe we should just forget about the whole thing."

"Yyyeeeessss!" Cyril whispered from outside. This was exactly what he wanted.

"Oh come on, Sophia," Melissa said. "We can't forget about it now."

"Yeah, don't let ol' Faucet Face get away with what he did!" Bert shouted.

"But it's too late," Sophia said. "It's too late for everything."

And with that, Sophia buried her face in her hands and began to cry. Schafer and the Raccoons didn't say anything. They just left the Raccoondominium and headed for the chapel to tell Cedric what had happened, and to cancel the ceremony. Cyril was practically jumping for joy by this time. This was the best news he had heard in centuries.

"Boy, I'd like to give Cyril Sneer a piece of my mind!" Bert shouted.

"Save a piece of him for me," Ralph said. "I can't believe he'd stoop this low."

"This is low even for him," Melissa said. "I knew he was a snake in the grass, but really!"

The others murmured their agreements and then disappeared. Cyril just stood there, watching them. He began to get this feeling in the pit of his stomach. It felt like guilt. He looked through the window of the Raccoondominium again, and saw Sophia still crying over her ruined wedding. The feeling in Cyril's stomach began to grow worse.

"Well, I've done it," he said to himself. "I went and ruined Sofa Girl's wedding. So how come I'm not thrilled? It can't be my conscience telling me it was wrong. I don't have a conscience."

Cyril thought this over, and finally, decided to head back to his mansion. He wanted to get rid of this nagging guilt that was hanging over him, and he knew the only way to do that was to get this wedding going.


	5. Surprises

Cyril was digging through his attic the minute he got home. He was throwing things around, searching frantically for something.

"I know I put it up here somewhere, now where in the world is it?" he asked himself.

Cyril continued to dig through the boxes in the attic, throwing things in all kinds of directions. Finally, he found the box he was looking for.

"Ah ha!" he shouted, as he opened the box. "Here it is."

Cyril carried the box downstairs, and into his office. He pulled out a piece of paper, wrote something on it, and stuck it in the box. Then, he left for the Raccoondominum.

When Cyril arrived, he checked the window to make sure Sophia was still there. She was, and she was still crying.

"Well," Cyril said. "Here goes nothing."

Cyril walked up to the front door, put the box on the front porch, knocked on the door, and then ran to hide somewhere. Shortly thereafter, Sophia opened the door, and saw the box there.

"I wonder what this is?" she asked, picking it up. She took off the lid, took out the note, and started to read it.

"Consider this your wedding present, signed C. S.," she read aloud. "C. S.? I wonder who C. S. is?"

Sophia brought the box inside, and put it on the table. Cyril carefully climbed out of his hiding place, and looked through the window. Sophia looked inside the box, and pulled out a wedding dress. It was obviously an old dress, but she wasn't sure how old. The top and sleeves were made of lace, over a strapless satin bodice. It had a full skirt made of satin, underneath a layer of tulle. A tulle veil with silk roses on it was also in the box. Sophia gasped in disbelief.

"I don't believe it!" she shouted. "I just don't believe it! I've got to hurry!"

Sophia dashed upstairs to change. Cyril breathed of relief. That nagging guilt feeling was lifting.

"I've got to get going myself," he said, and he raced back to the mansion.

Meanwhile, The Raccoons were just finishing up telling Cedric what had happened.

"This was low, even for Pop!" Cedric shouted.

"That's what we thought," Bert said. "So what do we do now?"

"Well, we may not have any other choice than to cancel the ceremony," Ralph said.

"And then we'll go find Cyril Sneer and clobber him!" Bert shouted. "I'll give him a right, and a left and . . . ."

Bert was pumping his fists in a mock fight when he accidentally punched himself in the nose, and fell to the floor.

"Come on, Bert," Ralph said. "Let's go."

"Go where?" Bert asked.

"You've got to tell everyone out there that the ceremony's been cancelled."

"Why me?!"

"It's the best man's job to announce any changes."

"Why's that?"

"Beats me."

Bert sighed, and he walked out to the alter to face the guests. Most of them were people from the media.

"Uhh, attention, everyone," Bert said, slightly nervous. "Due to circumstances beyond our control . . . . .uhhh . . . . ."

Bert wasn't exactly sure how to put this. As a matter of fact, he was dying out there! Melissa sighed.

"Ralph, you'd better go out there and help him," she said.

"Right," Ralph replied, and he started towards the alter himself.

It was then that Melissa glanced out the window, and saw a cab pull up to the chapel. Sophia climbed out of the cab, paid the driver, and then raced inside the chapel, breathlessly.

"Sorry I'm late," she said, trying to catch her breath.

"Sophia, I thought you wanted to cancel the ceremony!" Melissa shouted.

"I did, but then someone left a box on the front porch, and inside was this wedding dress."

"That means the show must go on. I'll be right back."

Melissa raced down the aisle up to the alter, where Ralph and Bert were just about to give the final announcement that the wedding has been cancelled.

"Wait! Wait a minute!" Melissa shouted. "Ladies and gentlemen, there will be a slight delay in the program. The ceremony will go on as scheduled. Bert, go find Cedric and tell him we're ready."

"What's going on?" Bert asked. "First it's cancelled, then it's back on . . . . I don't get it."

"Just find Cedric and tell him Sophia's here and we're ready," Melissa said.

Bert shrugged, and went to find Cedric. He found him outside the chapel, ready to go home.

"Hey, Cedric wait!" he called. "Melissa said Sophia just arrived, and they're ready to start."

"Really?" Cedric asked.

"Would I lie?" Bert asked. Then he thought this over for a minute. "Don't answer that."

Bert and Cedric raced back into the chapel to take their positions. Melissa and Sophia were working on getting themselves, organized as well. Schafer was trying to keep Broo, who would be carrying the rings on a pillow on his back, to stand still. Broo was jumping around, barking like crazy. He was excited, to say the least.

"I think we're ready to go," Melissa said.

"Not quite," a voice said from the doorway. Everyone turned around to find, of all people, Cyril Sneer, standing there. Broo growled, and got ready to give him a good bite in the leg, but Schafer picked up the little puppy to calm him down.

"Cyril Sneer?" Ralph asked, a little surprised.

"Haven't you caused enough trouble around here for one day?" Melissa asked.

"So tell me what's wrong with a father wanting to take part in his son's wedding?" Cyril asked.

"But I thought you were against this wedding," Schafer said.

"So I had a change of heart," Cyril said.

"Before or after you ruined Sophia's dress?" Melissa asked.

"Hey, you guys!" Bert shouted, coming into the back room. "What's going on back here? We're ready to start and . . . . . what's _he_ doing here?"

"Cyril wants to take part in the wedding," Ralph said with a shrug.

"Why, so he can ruin it?" Bert asked.

"Very funny," Cyril said.

"I think we should let him," Sophia said.

Everyone there turned to look at her as if she were crazy. They couldn't believe Sophia had just said that.

"Sophia, are you nuts!" Bert shouted. "This is Cyril Sneer we're talking about!"

"I know," Sophia said. "But why can't we at least give Mr. Sneer a chance?"

Bert sighed, rolled his eyes, and walked out to the front. He came back a few minutes later.

"Do what you want, Sophia," he said. "But speed it up. The natives are getting restless."

"We'd better get started," Ralph said. "Come on, Schafer."

Ralph and Schafer went out to the church and took their seats. Broo gave a final growl to Cyril, and then started down the aisle.

"So what exactly are you going to do?" Melissa asked Cyril, slightly suspicious of him.

"All I'm planning to do is walk down the aisle with Sofa Gir . . . . errrr, Sophia," Cyril said.

"That's all?"

"Of course that's all! Sheesh, you do one thing wrong, and you're branded for life!"

Melissa just shook her head, and started walking down the aisle. Then, the old classic "Here Comes the Bride" started to play.

"Well, here goes nothing," Cyril said, and he started to escort Sophia down the aisle.

Cedric had been standing there at the alter waiting nervously. When he saw his father coming down the aisle, walking next to Sophia, he nearly had a heart attack.

"Pop!" he shouted. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, just decided to swing by and watch the ceremony," Cyril said.

"Well, then, if you're just here for that, how come you came down the aisle with Sophia?"

"Well, I thought as long as I was here, and as long as she was just standing there, I figured what the heck?"

And with that Cyril sat down, and watched the whole ceremony. It was pretty normal as far as wedding ceremonies go.

"If anyone here thinks that these two should not be joined in matrimony," the officiant said. "Let them speak now, or forever hold their peace."

Everyone in the room turned to look directly at Cyril, waiting for him to throw out an objection. Cyril shifted uncomfortably in his seat, chewed on the end of his cigar, and remained silent. After that, the ceremony continued. There was just one small moment that happened, though. Cedric ended up with a case of stage fright at one point.

"Do you, Cedric, take Sophia to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the officiant asked.

"I, uhh, I, uhh . . . ." Cedric stammered, nervously.

"He does!" Ralph, Bert, and Melissa shouted in unison.

"Yeah, what they said," Cedric replied. "I mean, I do."

Sophia giggled over that one. Finally, Cedric and Sophia exchanged rings, and the officiant of course said those famous last words of weddings,

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Of course, Cedric was so nervous about this whole thing, when he leaned in to kiss Sophia, he not only went in the wrong direction, he lost his balance and crashed to the floor.

"Cedric!" Sophia shouted. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Cedric said, getting up. "I'm okay."

That was probably going to be one highlight of the entire wedding. If it didn't end up on one of those Funniest Home Video shows first.

After Cedric did manage to kiss the bride (without falling on his face, that is), everyone left the chapel and started towards the Raccoondominium for the reception. Since it was just the Raccoons, Schafer, and Broo (and Cyril and the Pigs at the last minute), it was just going to be a very small one.

At one point, Melissa put a tape on the stereo, and there was some more dancing, but not much. After awhile, Cedric was talking to Bert about the ceremony.

"Be prepared for the ball and chain bit, Cedric," Bert said. "I've seen it around here too often."

"I heard that, Bert!" Ralph shouted.

"Hey, come on, I was just kidding!" Bert said. "We all know Melissa's not a battle axe! Not all the time, anyway."

"Very funny," Melissa, who had heard the comment, said. "Just for that, I'm not buying any more peanut butter for a week."

"Huh!" Bert shouted. "Hey come on! No fair!"

"Forget it, Bert," Cedric said. "You know there's only one thing that's been bothering me about this wedding."

"What's that?" Bert asked. "That your dad didn't try anything to ruin it any more than he already has?"

"No, it's not that. It's just that . . . . . well, I think I might have seen Sophia's dress before, but I can't think of where."

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I think I've seen it before, too. You know, it kind of reminds me of that picture we found in your attic."

"That's it!" Cedric shouted, suddenly. "That picture of my mother that you and I found when we were trying to figure out what Pop was hiding. I think that's the dress she wore when she and Pop got married."

"Well, then how did Sophia get it?" Bert asked.

Bert and Cedric looked at each other for a moment or so, and then they looked over at Cyril, who was just sitting around, doing nothing.

"You don't think . . . ." Cedric said.

"Only one way to find out," Bert said. "Hey, Cyril! Come here, we want to talk to you."

"Well, what is it?" Cyril asked.

"We already know how you ruined Sophia's other wedding dress," Bert said. "And Cedric and I recognized it from that picture when you and your wife got married."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cyril said.

"Come on, Pop," Cedric replied. "That's Mom's wedding dress, isn't it?"

"All right, so maybe it is," Cyril said. "So what?"

"You gave it to Sophia, didn't you?"

"I only did it so I could get rid of this guilt trip I was having."

"You know, Cyril," Bert said. "You're not really so bad, are ya? In fact, you're a pretty decent guy."

"Yeah," Cyril said. "Just do me one favor."

"What's that?"

"Don't tell anybody."

Bert and Cedric looked at each other and shrugged. After awhile, the small reception broke up, and Cedric and Sophia headed to the train station to leave on their honeymoon. They were going to spend a week down south, to soak up some sun on the beaches.

"Well, it's official now," Cyril said, as the train departed. "My son, the married man."

That was all there was to it. It seemed Cyril was getting used to the fact that Cedric was married now. He was also getting used to the fact that Sophia had moved into the Sneer mansion, only because she and Cedric couldn't afford their own place at the time. But it was a big house, so Cyril was able to avoid Sophia most of the time.

Two months after Cedric and Sophia had returned from their honeymoon, Cyril was busy looking through the business section of the newspaper, trying to figure out what would be a good venture, money-wise. As he was going through the paper, he heard bits and pieces of a conversation between Cedric and Sophia.

"So how are we going to tell Pop?" Cedric asked.

"I'm not exactly sure how he's going to take it," Sophia said.

"Well, I told Bert, and he said that Pop's likely to drop dead. Kind of makes me nervous to tell him."

"Me too. I know your father's temper."

Cyril chewed on the end of his cigar, and stormed out of his office to find out what in the world they were talking about _this_ time.

"What in blazes are you two babbling about now!" he shouted.

"You want to tell him?" Cedric asked.

"He's your father," Sophia said. "You tell him."

"Well, you're the one who's gonna . . . . ."

"Will one of you just tell me already!" Cyril shouted.

Cedric and Sophia glanced at each other. Then they gripped each others hands, took a deep breath, and said, in perfect unison.

"We're going to have a baby."

"Eeep!" Cyril shouted, and fainted right there to the floor, in complete and total shock.

The End


End file.
